Friday, April 6, 2012

Robert Leon Johnson ;; March 1, 1935 -- February 6, 2012

My grandfather was so great. He was a fabulous friend, son, brother, cousin, uncle, husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. In his honor, I want to share a little of his story.

He was adamant about being called Leon. It was his father's {Everett Johnson} middle name, and they were really close. When Grandpa was little, his mom packed up and took him to California. His dad didn't take too kindly to that. Soon, Everett showed up and took Grandpa back to Oklahoma. Everett got remarried to Lucille and they had five more children. Darrell, Carroll, Treva, Terry (T.J.), and Jarold.

He met my grandmother, Jimi Benton when they were in high school. They attended the same church in Oklahoma City. Jimi was a part of the choir, and one day during worship, Everett poked my grandpa in the side, pointed to the beautiful petite young woman singing in the front, and told Leon that he needed to marry her. Little did he know what he was starting.

Their first date was to a malt shop. In the fall of Leon's senior year of high school, they were married. My grammy was 19 at the time, and Grandpa always teased that he loved older women. They had three children; Roberta, Vicki {my mom}, and Mike. They have 6 grandchildren and 2 great-grandsons. Jenni, Karlie, Kyle, Cale, Katie, Me, Caleb, and Parker.

Years before I was born, Leon and Jimi had some trouble with their marriage. They were oficially divorced for 12 years. But neither of them were happy. A year before I came into this world, they fell in love again. Or perhaps they never fell out of love. They married again, and I didn't even know they had been divorced up until after Grammy died.

When I was 2 years old, Grandpa collapsed to the ground while building a pool {his business}. After many visits to many hospitals, it was found that his lungs were full to the brim with blood clots. The doctor was shocked that Grandpa hadn't collapsed earlier or died yet. There is a flap on a baby's heart when they are in the womb that helps them breath until their lungs are fully developed. When they are born, the flap closes. By the grace of God, my grandpa's never closed. That was the only way he had stayed alive for who knows how long.

 At the time, surgery to remove the blood clots was extremely experimental. But Grandpa dove in head first. The surgery was successful, except for one thing. When he awoke, he had short term memory loss. Thankfully, he knew who his family was. He had some memories of his childhood and flashes of memories from the past. But that was about it.


Ever since then, I've learned from my grandparents what love truly is. Watching them these last couple of years has taught me more than either of them could ever say. They were dependent upon each other. She guided him day to day, told him anything he needed to know. He physically took care of her. He drove her all around town, bought her anything she wanted. Catered to her every need. That's how they survived. She was the brains, he was the brute.


February 5, 2011 was a sad day. Grammy suffered from kidney failure. The summer of 2010, she fell and broke her hips. Months later, dementia slowly crept in. The day that she passed was sad, but also a bit of a relief. She wasn't herself. Going was the complete healing that only God could give her.


After her memorial service, Grandpa went to live with my aunt and her family for several months. Three months later, he was back home. We would meet him for lunch about every week. But he was so, so lonely. Grammy was his reason to stay alive. She was his purpose.


February 5, 2012. Superbowl Sunday. Our immediate family was lazing away on the couch after the game. Mom got the phone call that Grandpa was being rushed to the hospital. Mom and I jumped into the car and we were there in minutes. Soon, the ambulance carrying Grandpa arrived. My uncle and aunt were right behind him. Uncle Mike said that after the game, as he left to go home, he collapsed and said he couldn't breathe.


Tests were run. Grandpa's lungs were full of clots again. The doctor that performed his first surgery is retired and living in a foreign country. The whole family was there for hours, pacing outside the ER. Doctors eventually came out. They said that surgery at his age was impractical. The original plan was to Lifeflight him to Houston. Uncle Mike and Aunt Dana had already left to make their way to Houston to meet the helicopter. But he was ready to go. By that time, it was just me, my mom and dad, and my cousin Jenni who is a nurse at the hospital. Soon, his heart failed. Doctors and nurses scrambled to revive him. It was chaos.


I buried my face in my hands. Sunk to the floor. My mom and my cousin were sitting on the floor, holding each other, sobbing. I joined them and so did my dad. There we were, one big sobbing mess.


At that moment, I was blessed with something wonderful.


God blessed me with a vision. I watched as Grandpa sauntered his way towards The Pearly Gates. Jesus, Grammy, and Everett were waiting on the other side. He greeted Jesus. Then, Grammy jumped into his arms. He hugged his daddy. Then I was back in the hospital. Nurses came out and told us that the medicine they had given him had restarted his heart, but it would only last a few minutes. We all went in to say one last goodbye, but I knew he was already in Heaven. Still, I watched as the heart monitor slowed. It flatlined, and I ran out of the hostpial and into the cold night air.


These tears that I cry aren't for Grandpa. He is in Heaven, praising God this very minute. He is healed, strong, and gloriously happy. No, these tears are for the pain of seperation from him, until I walk into Heaven myself.


There are things that I will always miss about them. My Grammy's contagious laugh. His smile. Her 4"11 frame. His stocky build. Her hand on mine. His voice calling me "Sweetie". But I know I'll see, feel, and hear all those things again. Just not in this lifetime.


Grammy and Grandpa, thank you for teaching me about love, family, and Jesus. You taught me to be strong no matter how hard the situation is.You showcased faithfullness to God. Most importantly, you loved me. Your love means more than anything else. I love you both so, so much.


Weren't they precious?

Grandpa over the years.


My beautiful family.




Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Matthew 5:4

"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you." ~Matthew 5:4 {the Message}

Hello, dear friends. I have no other excuse for not writing except for this ;; I've lost someone very dear to me.

On February 6, 2012, just after one o'clock in the morning, my Grandpa passed away. Ever since then, I've felt empty and overwhelmed with sadness. It didn't help that February 5th was a year to the day that my Grammy {Grandpa's wife} had left this earth as well. I had forgotten how a broken heart could feel so physical.

I haven't necessarily been mad at God. I know my Grandpa is in Heaven with his sweetheart and family. I know that it was his time. He was sad and lonely. It was best for him. I wish I could have one more hug. Hear him call me "Sweetie"one last time. It was about having more time with him. I've felt like there was a wall between me and God that I couldn't break. I couldn't pray about it. I didn't know how.

Now, after a lot of support from my family and friends, I'm finally returning to my old self. I found comfort from Jesus. I was truly embraced by His love. But for a moment, I'd like to talk about grief.

When I lost my Grandma, I was already in a deep depression. You can imagine how that didn't help out. There was one thing that everyone said that really got to me. "I'm sorry for your loss. Stay strong."

Stay strong.

A detrimental statement.

I know people mean well when they say that. They don't know what else to say. It seems fairly harmless. But to my depression-laced mind, it had a different meaning. Stay strong. Stuff your emotions down. Don't cry. Support your mom, she's the one who lost her mother. I never allowed myself to heal completely from her death until six months after she was gone.

I wish someone had told me that it's okay not to be okay. You're supposed to be upset for a while. Back in the day, you would have at least 3 months to mourn heavily. How do you expect yourself to be better within days? Of course, everyone deals with grief differently. Some people cry all day, some throw themselves into their work.

So, to everyone who has lost someone dear to them, let yourself grieve. It's not embarassing. It's normal. Please. It'll mess you up for a long time if you sutff it down. God is who you need to turn to. He can give you an unexplainable peace and carry you through everything. And remember, it's okay not to be okay.

I love and miss you terribly, Grandpa. Hug Grammy for me. I can't wait to see you in Heaven again.

~Rebekah
<3

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

My Expression -- February Photo A Day Challenge

Happy February! :)
I often express myself through pictures. My mom is a photographer and has had a camera stuck in my face since I was born, but I long stopped minding.



Ta-dah! That's right, I'm taking on the February Photo a Day Challenge! I wanted to participate in January, but the month was half gone when I found out about it. But I'm super stoked to share these pictures with you. :) I'll post a week of pictures every Wednesday, but I'll post them everyday on my Instagram, too. That being said. . .

Day One!
My view today -- laptop at the kitchen table and surrounded by schoolwork. And my favorite Peter Pan mug. :)



Have a fantasic day!

~Rebekah
<3

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Regional Dialect Meme

So, my dear friend Katie over at Lovely Lady posted this regional dialect meme and I thought it was too much fun not to do. So, here you have it! :)

My Southern accent. . . oh good golly.


If you want to make a Regional Dialect vlog too

here are the questions and things you'll need


Say these words:

Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting Image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught



And then answer these questions:

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?

What is the bug that when you touch it, curls into a ball?

What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?

What do you call gym shoes?

What do you say to address a group of people?

What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?

What do you call your grandparents?

What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?

What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?

What is the thing you change the TV channel with?



I hope you got some kind of entertainment out of that! ;) And also, I hope you have a great rest of your morning or afternoon as well :)
 
~Rebekah
<3

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Ten Ways to Get the Right Guy to Like You


Every girl needs to watch this. He basically states everything I believe in considering guys.

This guy is hilarious and his videos are non-stop entertaining and true. Check out his videos!

Happy Tuesday! :)

~Rebekah
<3

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Boys. . .

Ah. A girl's favorite subject, no?

Ready to learn about one of the things that makes me unique?

I don't date.

Yes, I am a (almost) 16 year-old that has never dated and doesn't plan on dating for a while.

And yes, I am aware that this makes me seem like a unicorn.

I've been asked why too many times by friends, adults, and even my own family. And I always feel kind of stupid when I answer them. Like I'm just strange for not having the desire to date. That I should have that desire like every other "normal" teenager. For a while, this led me to that path of "why don't I have a boyfriend?". Which all of you girls know is not fun to go down. But after some prayer and soul searching, the realization finally dawned upon me.

I'm not a typical teenager.

At least in matters of the heart, soul, and morals. I do have a sloppy room, I don't always get along with my parents, and I eat. . . All. The. Time.

But really. I kind of get the sense from God that at this moment on earth, I'm not meant to be dating. I'm here for something far more important and dating would only get in the way. What that important thing is yet, I've no idea.

So, I'll share my five reasons for not dating with you.

1) I've never been approached by a guy. Ever. No pick-up-lines, no flirting. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Which is really okay with me. I find flirting to be rather awkward anyway. I asked my mom and my best friend why they thought no one had attempted to flirt with me before. And they both agreed that I give off a certain air to guys that if they aren't serious, they better not even attempt to mess with me. Which I find to be a gift and a curse at the same time.

2) And as an add-on to One, I don't flirt. Like I said, I think it's awkward. And I'm awkward enough on my own without trying to impress a guy. I'm not forward. I don't approach guys. I personally think that it's the man's job to seek out a woman and try to blossom a friendship into a relationship. So I find that quietly crushing and waiting for him to seek me out is better. Because if he comes to me, we're both ready. If I run in head first, I will be but he won't be into it because it wasn't his idea.

3) I don't have the desire to be in a typical "high school romance". Call me old-fashioned, but dating is really for finding the man or woman that you want to marry. Why would you spend time in a relationship when you know that it's not going to last past graduation? Why set yourself up for heartbreak when you attend seperate colleges across the state and slowly drift apart? Maybe other girls are strong enough for that, but I don't think that my heart could handle it.

4) God hasn't awakened that desire deep in my heart. In Song of Songs, a woman warns other women to wait for God to stir up love in their lives, that He'll do that when they are ready. God simply hasn't put it on my heart to really want to date. He knows that I'm not ready to be in a relationship with anyone until our relationship is stronger.

And finallly. . .

5) The right guy hasn't come along yet. Now, believe me I have so many fantastic guys in my life right now. I cherish them all as dear friends. But I haven't found anyone who I would really want to date. Either I haven't met him or I just haven't looked hard enough. I have faith that God is going to bring the right guy into my life when the timing is perfect. I'm not saying that the first guy I ever date will be the one I end up marrying. The odds of that are very small. But each time a new guy comes into my life, God will have a purpose for the time that we will spend together.

So until the above circumstances change, I love being single. Dating is a beautiful thing, as long as it's treated right. My best friend and I love sitting in the mall watching couples go by. We really do. We "stalk" the cute couples at church and eat ice cream as we moan over our single-dom. But God has a plan, He always does.

So now you know one of the things that makes me unique.
:)

~Rebekah
<3

Saturday, January 7, 2012

A New Year, a New Dawn

Well, my very lovely friend Ruthanne inspired me to write out my own set of goals for 2012. While you're at it, check out her blog -- she is a lover of all things vintage, takes beautiful pictures, always write thought-provoking words and is one of my best friends!

Now, onto my goals {in no specific order}. . .

1. To finally lose the rest of the weight I gained during my depression and stay healthy -- about 25 pounds to go!
2. Finish writing my novel -- shouldn't be too hard, seeing as it's something I really love.
3. Become more involved in my church -- could be a bit tricky. I live about and hour away from my church, but hopefully we'll be moving soon!
4. Keep my room clean -- ALL the time!
5. Learn how to sew -- something I've always wanted to do! My mom made a lot of her own clothes when she was my age, and I think it's something every woman should know how to do!
6. Save up enough money to buy a car -- preferably a VW Beatle :)
7. Obtain a job over the summer -- we'd have to move first, or I could find a job in my town for the summer.
8. Periodically write posts! I'm so sorry that I all but abandoned my poor blog -- until now, that is.

Eight seems like a good number for now! I have never realized how incredibly blessed I am. I look back at this time last year, and I realize I have come so far from where I was. Thank you, Lord for your greatness!

I wish you a Happy and Blessed New Year!

~Rebekah
<3