"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you." ~Matthew 5:4 {the Message}
Hello, dear friends. I have no other excuse for not writing except for this ;; I've lost someone very dear to me.
On February 6, 2012, just after one o'clock in the morning, my Grandpa passed away. Ever since then, I've felt empty and overwhelmed with sadness. It didn't help that February 5th was a year to the day that my Grammy {Grandpa's wife} had left this earth as well. I had forgotten how a broken heart could feel so physical.
I haven't necessarily been mad at God. I know my Grandpa is in Heaven with his sweetheart and family. I know that it was his time. He was sad and lonely. It was best for him. I wish I could have one more hug. Hear him call me "Sweetie"one last time. It was about having more time with him. I've felt like there was a wall between me and God that I couldn't break. I couldn't pray about it. I didn't know how.
Now, after a lot of support from my family and friends, I'm finally returning to my old self. I found comfort from Jesus. I was truly embraced by His love. But for a moment, I'd like to talk about grief.
When I lost my Grandma, I was already in a deep depression. You can imagine how that didn't help out. There was one thing that everyone said that really got to me. "I'm sorry for your loss. Stay strong."
Stay strong.
A detrimental statement.
I know people mean well when they say that. They don't know what else to say. It seems fairly harmless. But to my depression-laced mind, it had a different meaning. Stay strong. Stuff your emotions down. Don't cry. Support your mom, she's the one who lost her mother. I never allowed myself to heal completely from her death until six months after she was gone.
I wish someone had told me that it's okay not to be okay. You're supposed to be upset for a while. Back in the day, you would have at least 3 months to mourn heavily. How do you expect yourself to be better within days? Of course, everyone deals with grief differently. Some people cry all day, some throw themselves into their work.
So, to everyone who has lost someone dear to them, let yourself grieve. It's not embarassing. It's normal. Please. It'll mess you up for a long time if you sutff it down. God is who you need to turn to. He can give you an unexplainable peace and carry you through everything. And remember, it's okay not to be okay.
I love and miss you terribly, Grandpa. Hug Grammy for me. I can't wait to see you in Heaven again.
Now, after a lot of support from my family and friends, I'm finally returning to my old self. I found comfort from Jesus. I was truly embraced by His love. But for a moment, I'd like to talk about grief.
When I lost my Grandma, I was already in a deep depression. You can imagine how that didn't help out. There was one thing that everyone said that really got to me. "I'm sorry for your loss. Stay strong."
Stay strong.
A detrimental statement.
I know people mean well when they say that. They don't know what else to say. It seems fairly harmless. But to my depression-laced mind, it had a different meaning. Stay strong. Stuff your emotions down. Don't cry. Support your mom, she's the one who lost her mother. I never allowed myself to heal completely from her death until six months after she was gone.
I wish someone had told me that it's okay not to be okay. You're supposed to be upset for a while. Back in the day, you would have at least 3 months to mourn heavily. How do you expect yourself to be better within days? Of course, everyone deals with grief differently. Some people cry all day, some throw themselves into their work.
So, to everyone who has lost someone dear to them, let yourself grieve. It's not embarassing. It's normal. Please. It'll mess you up for a long time if you sutff it down. God is who you need to turn to. He can give you an unexplainable peace and carry you through everything. And remember, it's okay not to be okay.
I love and miss you terribly, Grandpa. Hug Grammy for me. I can't wait to see you in Heaven again.
~Rebekah
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